Impostor


My online name isn't uncommon, but for some reason I always get confused with exactly one of the other Dr. Zeuses -- this guy:



Don't ask me why.  In any case, it leads to some humorous emails exchanges.  I usually just play dumb and keep it friendly.  Here are two of my favorite exchanges:

Badmash Music, 2005

In October of 2005, I received this email, unsolicited:

Dear Dr. Zeus

My name is Sana Zaidi and I am a part of Badmash Entertainment and
Mahoot Media Marketing based out of Los Angeles, California.

We will be launching a new project called the Badmash Music Initiative
at the end of October, where we will be featuring some of the hottest
South Asian music talent in the world: Nitin Sawhney, Raghav, Karsh
Kale, MIA, Rabbi Shergill, Karmacy and many more.  With the press of USA
Today, Maxim Magazine, Times of India and more, this project is sure to
be an amazing success.

We are very interested in featuring Dr. Zeus as one of the featured
artists of the week.  This is free and well-deserved publicity for your
artist and record label to a massive global audience.

What started off as a comic strip two years ago, Badmash [
_http://www.badmash.org/_ ], is now one of the leading entertainment web
portals in the global South Asian community:          

*160,000+ email subscribers who receive a weekly Badmash newsletter
*Over one half million unique visitors per month to
_http://www.badmash.org/_ [60% North American / 40% international]

All we request from you so that we can properly promote Dr. Zeus in the
Badmash Music Initiative is :

*an image of the artist
*one promotional MP3 track to offer for free download to our website visitors
*a five sentence bio

If you are interested in having Dr. Zeus featured in the Badmash Music
Initiative launch, please reply to this email or contact me as soon as
possible @ XXX-XXX-XXXX ASAP.

We are only reaching out to a handful of artists, so a prompt reply is
recommended if you would like your artist to be featured in this project.

Best,
Sana Z Zaidi
Badmash / Mahoot Media

I couldn't turn down this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, could I?

Wonderful!  This sounds like a really great project, and I'm excited to be
involved!  I'd be honored if you chose me as a Featured Artist.

As such, here are the items you requested:

> *an image of the artist




> *one promotional MP3 track to offer for free download to our website visitors


(I sent him a link to one of the abstract sound collages I made back in college:)
lace.mp3


> *a five sentence bio


(I wrote some semi-true text and passed it through the Babelizer:)

"Dr. Zeus is a sound collagist Luddite from Centauri the alpha.
Dr. Zeus works in a dingy, disorder-thrown laboratory without aids of
computers or mixing panels, transcribing forms of vagueness directly
from a series of microphones to cartridge tape.  By the filtered,
coal-soaked light, Dr. Zeus seizes invaluable stones of
Schallpsychedlia from the corners of the globe.  Then Dr. Zeus
bang-Tarts(tm) eats."

Peace out,
-Dr. Z

Sana responded almost immediately with:

Hey Dr. Z,

Thanks for the requested items...we are very excited to have you be a part of this project.
I will contact you later with further progress.  Be in touch soon.


Sincerely,

Sana Z Zaidi

Guess he didn't read my email too closely...  Four months later, I still hadn't heard anything more about this, so I decided to poke him:

Hey Sana, I never heard any more from you on this. Is the project
still going ahead? I'm still very excited to be featured on your web site!

-Dr. Z

He responded:

How goes it Dr.Z... we are in the process of starting up the website.
I will inform you as to when it is ready.  Thanks for your participation...

sincerely=szz


...and that was it.  I never heard back from Mr. Zaidi.  So sad!


Raja Berry, 2011

In May of 2011, I received this email from an address named Raja Exclusive:

hi, Dr. Zeus. This is Raja Berry. I write Hindi (bollywood) songs, punjabi songs & punjabi rap. Plz sir give me chance. I wanna attach with u.

I was curious, so I responded playfully:

Hey, Mr. Berry!  Dr. Zeus here.  I love all music from the
Subcontinent and would love to pick up what you're laying down.  Where
can I hear some of it?  I'll have to decide later about attaching --
after I get to know you better.  It's very personal.

Peace,
-Dr. Z


PS.  Are you related to Wendell or Chuck?

hi Dr. Zeus. How r u sir? This is Raja Berry. First of all i wanna thankyou so much bcz u did email to me. I m so glad for this. Respected sir plz tell me,"when u will come in India ? And Sir tell me plz," have u any office in India ? Sir i m living in Ludhiana (Punjab).

Dr. Zeus i will send to u two songs by email till to two days. Sir plz check my voice also. I m getting training of singing from seven years. I sing only my own songs. Sir i m saying to u onse again that i wanna really attach with u. I like ur rock music. Plz response me. My contact no. XXXXXXXXX.

Ur fan & pupil Raja Berry.


So, he didn't get my jokes and he really thinks I'm the famous musician.  Huh.  He sounded like some poor schmo in Punjab, so I didn't want to be mean.  And I thought it would be cool to hear his music.

Hello again, Mr. Berry!  It is no problem to email you -- I love
communicating electronically with peoples from all over the world!

I do not have any current plans to visit India, though I would love to
go back some time -- it's a beautiful country with many interesting
people.  I do not have an office in India, sadly.  I do have an office
in Mountain View, California, though, if you're ever out that way.

I eagerly look forward to hearing your songs.

Sincerely,
-Dr. Z



Respected Dr. Zeus, how r u ? Sir now i m sending only four songs. Dr. Zeus. Sir whenever u"ll come in India , i"ll definately see you. Sir now plz have ur views about  my voice & songs. I wanna sing these songs in ur rock style. Sir i m writing more punjabi & hindi songs. If u like then i can provide u Bollywood type songs also. Hoping for a favourable response. Raja Berry.

Akha tere te.amr


Bhangra pave.amr


Sadka te mel di.amr


Tere re lak de thumke.amr


They're not bad!

hello Dr. Zeus, this is Raja Berry. Sir did u hear my songs. Sir i sent four songs in four diffirent tones. Sir i wanna attach with ur benner. Plz response me. Raja Berry.

Again with the "attaching"!  Let's have some fun with that:

Hey, Mr. Berry.  Sorry for the slow response -- things have been very
busy at work this week.

I did get your songs, and I like them very much!  The style is not
quite what I'm used to, but they're really fun.  I'd love to hear some
of your Bollywood songs, too!  Can you send one or two?

Sincerely,
-Dr. Z

PS.  I don't know what my "benner" is.  The only definition I could
find on the interwebs was this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pulling%20a%20benner&defid=5738360

("To take a unusually long shit, most likely brought on by an upcoming unpleasant task
including but not restricted to hard work.")


If you want to attach to that, I think this relationship is not what I
was expecting.


hello Dr. Zeus, this is Raja Berry

First of all, i would like to apologise for mis-spelling regarding the word '' benner'' in my last mail. Actually i was misguided regarding this word.

This time i am sending yuo few boolywood type songs. in which i have tried to put my best. Hope you would like it.i am sending you the first couplet of the songs. if u like, i will send u complete songs. I tried my best in writing these songs, keeping your style in view. Last time i sent you a song ( bhangra pave ) this song also could be blockbuster song as such songs are in vogue these days.

I record all the songs in my mobile. So the voice and intrument quility can not be good as you are fully aware of these facts.Sir i want sing in your studeo in your rock style music.


Apna bna lo.wav


Bhangra pave.amr


Mein teri diwani.wav


Couple.wav


More songs!  Time for me to send some of my own "songs", and let's get some clarification on "benner":

Wow, thanks for the new songs!  They're really great.  I feel like I've been rude, though, in not responding in kind to your generous sharing.  To rectify that, I've attached two of my own songs that I recorded a few years back.  They're not widely known, and I hope you haven't heard them before.  You can find a few more from this period on my website.

Arachne.mp3


malefactors.mp3


I'm impressed that you've recorded all of these songs on your mobile.  The sound quality isn't bad at all.  I wish I could let you sing in my studio, but sadly I have no studio.

Regarding the word "benner", I'm curious now what word you intended to use, or what meaning you thought "benner" had.  Please respond.

Thank you again for sharing your songs with me,
-Dr. Z


I'm still being perfectly honest, if playing a little dumb, and I'm starting to drop some hints that I'm not who he thinks I am.  The songs I attached are more of my abstract sound collages, but I picked particularly abstract ones to start.

Hi Dr Zeus, now i am sending two punjabi songs.Sir i want attach with ur group. I need ur response. I promise i will give u so superhit songs in future. i need ur motivation. Raja Berry

Dimond Ring.wav


Baaz.wav


Hello Dr. Zeus, how are you sir ? First of all, so sorry for slow response, actually my mobile was not working but now everything is OK.

Sir i would so much thank you for complmenting my songs.

As you told," you have established no studio in India, but take it for reality sir, i have a dire passion for singing in your studio somehow if possible. Writing & singing is my passion for me, not the lust. I wanna sing in your studio.

In regards to the word "Benner" exactly it was "Survelliance".

Respected Sir, now i am sending just one punjabi song. (TOUR NAAL ZINDGI JEON SOORME, AVEIN TA NI JAG TE SALAAMA HUNDIAN)

Also Sir unluckily the songs sent by you are not responding even on my mobile and computer system. I took some experts help but with no positive result. could you plz guide us in  this matter if there is any solution. Or plz resend these songs in MP3.
I have cravings to see you whether it is through web cam or phone sir if you feel the same can we have a meeting like this and also if you feel comfortable can we have punjabi as the medium of communication as I am a bit hard up in english ? Sir plz do respond to this wish of mine.
Raja Berry


SOORME.wav


My guess is that the songs did come through, they just sounded like noise to him!  Let's give him the same songs via another mechanism just in case, drop a few more hints, and make no mention of the fact that I speak no punjabi:

Hello, Mr. Beery!  No worries about the slow response -- I'm rather busy, too, with all of my various projects. I'm glad to hear your mobile is working again.

As to your English skillz, I think they're quite good!  I'm especially impressed that you distinguished between "passion" and "lust" in regards to your feelings about music.  That's a very subtle distinction!  But now I'm even more curious about "benner":  you said you meant "survelliance", but that would make your earlier statement "I wanna attach with ur survelliance".  Are you saying you would like to be part of my surveillance team?  I have no established surveillance infrastructure, though I admit to occasionally eavesdropping on other bus-riders or cafe-sitters.

I'm very sorry to hear that my songs did not come through properly.  Instead of email, perhaps try downloading them from my website.  I've posted them at the following URLs:
  http://drze.us/Art/Music/Arachne.mp3
  http://drze.us/Art/Music/malefactors.mp3
Let me know if that works for you.  If not, we'll find some way to get them to you, I promise!

Finally, I know you would really like to sing in my studio, but in truth I have no studio -- not in India or anywhere, unless you count my living room.  So, please continue singing in your own living room, and sing proudly there!

-Dr. Z


Sat sri Akal Dr. Zeus, sir its matters little whether you have a sludio or not. I just want you to provide me a chance, if you think i am worthy to sing under your guidance.

As far as living room is concerned for last few years. It has been my permanent studio. But i want to change it as soon as possible and only you can help me for out because you are my favorite NRI music director, So i am sharing with you all this.

Sir as you prepare your others songs and singers sing and you make the music, like that please give me a chance. Sir economically we are not strong like you. I request you sir please give me music to my songs with your blessings.

I want began my career with your rock style music. I promise you that, i will attach with you my whole life.

Sir which songs sent by you, unluckily its did not play like before. Plz resend songs with any other way. I want hear your songs sir.

Raja Berry.


Still no bite on the songs -- let's try for some that sound less like static, and let's really make it clear that I'm not an Indian bhangra musician living in Birmingham:

Sorry to hear that the songs didn't come through again.  Perhaps let's
try different songs instead.  These two are from the same sessions as
the previous ones.  They're not my favorites from that period, but
perhaps you'll at least be able to hear them:

strengths.mp3


debates.mp3


I understand your desire to attach with me, but I'm not making so much
music these days -- I mostly focus on photography and generative art.
And, honestly, I've never worked with other singers even when I was
making a lot of music.  I love your singing and you really should
continue to pursue it, but I'm not sure I'm the guy to help you with
that.

-Dr. Z

PS.  What does "NRI" mean?


This terse reply came back:

hi Dr. Z, NRI mean NON RESIDENSE IN INDIA

Followed shortly by:

hello Dr. Zeus, I want to say that other singers to mean that you did the work with many singers and make the music of many songs like  Rakesh (Kangna), Lehmber hussainpuri (Aa ni kuriye), Asi haan punjabi and now new album of Manpreet Sandu ( Babe da na le ke waheguru keh ke, tera te mera rishta rooha rooha da hove, kite mili ta zroor dasyo).

So i said to you for this. But its ok sir, I do not compell you, I can understood you sir.  But respected sir just help me in this way that plz do the recommend to music director DJ SANJ for me. Becouse i read in your website for DJ SANJ, please contact to him and tell him for me.

I understand that now your focus on photography & art.  But please say the DJ SANJ for me. I know this is so easy for u. Plz sir just do it . I request you.

And sir i want ask to you that who is "Harold Poskenzer" untill your name is Dr. Zeus.

I think DJ SANJ making so much music in these days and he will must give the chanse to me for singing. It will be possible if u will say to him for Raja Berry.  Please give me his personel ID or his contact number, then i can chat with DJ SANJ.

Sir i am so hard working in this line and i will do hard work always. I promise.

Raja Berry.


I think he's starting to catch on...  Let's try to make it absolutely clear:
> hello Dr. Zeus, I want to say that other singers to mean that
> you did the work with many singers and make the music of many songs like
> Rakesh (Kangna), Lehmber hussainpuri (Aa ni kuriye), Asi haan punjabi
> and now new album of Manpreet Sandu ( Babe da na le ke waheguru keh ke,
> tera te mera rishta rooha rooha da hove, kite mili ta zroor dasyo).

I don't know who any of those people are.  Are they singers?

> So i said to you for this. But its ok sir, I do not compell you,
> I can understood you sir. But respected sir just help me in this
> way that plz do the recommend to music director DJ SANJ for me.
> Becouse i read in your website for DJ SANJ, please contact to him
> and tell him for me.

DJ SANJ?  I've never heard that name before.  I went to his web site,
and he doesn't look familiar, either.  Are you sure I know him?  I've
met lots of people in my life, and I think I'd remember someone so
dramatic...

> And sir i want ask to you that who is "Harold Poskenzer"
> untill your name is Dr. Zeus.

Harold Poskanzer is my real name.  Dr. Zeus is the name I use for all
my art & music.  Is Raja Berry your real name, or a stage name?

Any luck with downloading the music links I sent along?

-Dr. Z


DJ SANJ

Mr. Berry?  Did my email not go through?  Are you having phone troubles again?

I'd still really like to return your generousity and get you some of my music...

-Dr. Z


No response for a while.  I think he's realized his mistake.  But then:

hi Dr. Zeus, actually i am in so big trouble right now, dr. Said that my eyes opration is urgent in one week. But i have no money for my eyes opration. So now i am so confuse that what should i do ? Sir plz tell me, where are you from ? I mean tell me about your country. I hope u will help me somehow. Your best friend Raja Berry.

Ha!  Once he realizes I'm not the musician....he turns into an email scammer!!  If I were the musician, this is not the kind of guy I'd want to attach with.

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this!  What is the problem with your eyes?

Why did you not mention this before?  How were you planning on
attaching with me with this health problem looming over you?

I am from the United States, in California.

-Dr. Z


hi sir, actually its happend suddenly with me. My eyes side power has been less ( -2.75 ). I can not understood what should i do ? I have no money untill docters demand 48000 Rs (aproximetly $1060). Plz help me. I am so sad now. I don't love my life now. Raja Berry.

Side power?  What's that?

-Dr. Z


Sadly, nothing since then.

Chez Zeus:Not Me:Impostor
Anti-2011 Dr. Zeus.
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